简爱

Jane Eyre

Charlotte Bronte / 夏洛蒂 伯朗特

‘Mr Rochester was sometimes able to read my thoughts, but this time he just smiled warmly at me, and opened the gate.
‘Pass, friend, ’ he said, ‘and welcome home! ’
I could have just walked past him in silence, but something made me turn and say quickly, before I could stop myself, ‘Thank you, Mr Rochester, for your great kindness. I’m glad to come back to you, and wherever you are is my home — my only home. ’ I ran across the field and into the house before he had time to answer.
Two weeks passed after my return, with no news of the wedding. There were no preparations at Thornfield, and no visits to the Ingram family, who lived only a few miles away. I almost began to hope.
It was the middle of summer, and every day the sun shone on the green fields, the white, baked roads, and the cool, dark woods. One evening, after ?had gone to sleep, I went into the garden. I discovered a quiet place where I thought nobody would find me, but then I noticed Mr Rochester had come into the garden too. Hoping to escape back to the house, I crept quietly behind him while he was bending over to admire an insect, but —
‘Jane, ’ he said suddenly, ‘come and look at this beautiful insect. Oh, now he’s flown away. No, don’t go back to the house, Jane, on such a lovely night. Come and walk with me. ’ I could not find a reason for leaving him, so I accompanied him in silence.
‘Jane, ’ he began, ‘you like Thornfield, don’t you? And you even like little , and old Mrs Fairfax, don’t you? ’
‘I do, sir, I really don’t want to leave them. ’
‘What a pity! ’ he sighed. ‘That’s what happens in life. No sooner have you got used to a place than you have to move on. ’
‘Do I have to move on, sir? Leave Thornfield? ’
‘I’m afraid you must, Jane. ’
‘Then you are going to be married, sir? ’
‘Exactly, Jane. And as you have pointed out, when I take the lovely Miss Ingram as my bride, you and ?must leave the house, so I’m looking for a new job for you. ’
‘I’m sorry to cause you trouble, ’ I said miserably.
‘No trouble at all! In fact I’ve already heard of a very good job which would be just right for you, teaching the five daughters of an Irish family. You’ll like Ireland, I think. They’re such friendly people, ’ he said cheerfully.

?‘It’s such a long way away, sir! ’ I was fighting to keep my tears back. There was an icy coldness in my heart.
‘Away from what, Jane? ’
‘From England and from Thornfield and — ’
‘Well? ’
‘From you, sir! ’ I could not stop myself, and burst into tears immediately.
‘It certainly is very far away, ’ he said calmly. ‘Let’s sit on this bench, Jane, like old friends saying goodbye. You know, I sometimes feel as if you and I were connected by a string tying our two hearts together, and if you went to Ireland, I think that string might break and I might bleed to death. ’
‘I wish ... I wish I’d never been born! ’ I cried. ‘I wish I’d never come to Thornfield! ’ No longer able to control my feelings, I poured out what was in my heart. ‘I can’t bear to leave! Because here I’ve been treated kindly. And because I’ve met you, Mr Rochester, and I can’t bear never to see you again. Now I have to leave, I feel as if I’m dying! ’

罗切斯特先生有时可以看透我的心思，但这次他只是对我热切地微笑，并打开了大门。
“请进，朋友，”他说，“欢迎回家！”
我本可以静静地从他面前走过，可不知什么让我转过身来，没等我止住自己，话已说出了口：“罗切斯特先生，谢谢你的盛情。我很高兴回到你这里，你在哪儿，哪儿就是我的家，我唯一的家。”我不等他答话就跑过院子进了房间。
我回来后已经两星期了，却没有婚礼的消息。特恩费得没做任何准备，没人去看望仅几英里之遥的英格姆一家。我几乎在盼着婚礼了。
时值仲夏，每天骄阳都照耀着绿色的田野，白的、烤硬的路面和凉爽的深绿色树林。一天晚上阿黛拉入睡后，我走进花园。我找了个自认为谁也找不到我的僻静处，可是这时我看到罗切斯特先生也来到花园。我希望能溜回屋去，于是从他背后蹑手蹑脚地走着。他正弯下身去观赏一只小虫子。可是——
他突然说：“简，过来看看这只美丽的小虫子。噢，它现在飞了。别走，简，这么美好的夜晚，别回屋里去，过来跟我走走。”我找不到离开他的藉口，便默默地陪着他。
“简，”他开始说道，“你喜欢特恩费得，是不是？你甚至喜欢小阿黛拉和费尔法斯老太太，对吗？”
“是的，先生。我真不愿离开她们。”
“真可惜！”他叹息道。“生活就是这样。你刚刚适应一个地方，就得搬走了。”
“先生，我必须搬走吗？离开特恩费得吗？”
“简，恐怕你必须这样。”
“那么你要结婚了，先生？”
“简，正是这样。正像你所说的，当我娶可爱的英格姆小姐为妻时，你和阿黛拉必须离开我家，所以我正在给你找新工作。”
“对不起，麻烦你了。”我痛苦地说。
“一点儿不麻烦。实际上我已经听说有份很不错的工作，正适合你，到一户爱尔兰人家教五个女孩。我想你会喜欢爱尔兰的，那儿的人非常友好的。”他快活地说道。

“先生，这太远了！”我努力抑制住自己的泪水，心里感到冰一样冷。
??? “简，离什么太远了？”
??? “离英格兰，离特恩费得，还有离——”
??? “嗯？”
??? “离你，先生。”我无法克制自己，眼泪一下子涌了出来。
??? “的确非常遥远。”他平静地说，“简，我们一块坐坐，就像老朋友道别一样。你知道，我有时感到我们两个是连在一起的，一根线系着我们的两颗心。如果你去爱尔兰，那根线可能会绷断，我会流血死去的。”

“我希望……我希望我根本没来到人世！”我叫道，“我希望我永远没来过特恩费得！”我再也无法控制自己的感情，一下子倾诉出我的心声。“离开这里我无法忍受！因为在这里我得到善待，因为我遇到了你，罗切斯特先生，我不能忍受再也见不到你。现在我必须离开，我觉得我要死了！”